Meet The Committee



MARTIN MASSIE (Our Chairman)

It is my belief that:

  • residents should be able to go out without being harassed, molested, threatened or exposed to hoodies.
  • no pensioner should bleed to death in a vandalised telephone box without someone helping them.
  • nine feet high is an unacceptable size for obscene graffiti.
  • adultery is not a crime and participants should not be hounded by other citizens.


Hilda is a devout Christian and gifted amateur interior designer. She has won prizes at WI contests for "Most Original Canapés" and "Best Use Of Pixie Green On A Banister, Skirting Board Or Dado Rail", as well as a silver star for public speaking.

In recent months she has been developing a deeper interest in women's issues.

ROD TRUSSER (Discipline & Punishment)

Hello. My name is Rod. I live at No 9 Bluebell Hill. I am a retired Security Guard and before that The Army (although some people think the TA isn’t the real army, it actually is). I still keep busy taking a lead role supporting my local Neighbourhood Watch, putting all my counter-insurgency, covert operations and special weapons training to good use. I am currently on Amber Alert! My hobbies include martial arts, self-defence and aromatherapy. Feel free to pop round and look at my fence anytime, I’ll chain the dog up!

DOROTHY DOGGETT (Public Relations)

Dorothy moved into number 4 Bluebell Hill seven years ago following the sad passing of her husband. She thoroughly enjoys the company of her neighbours and has fully immersed herself into the local community. Since she retired from the local newspaper six months ago Dorothy has become close friends with Rod and recently joined his self-defence class. Dorothy is trying to help Rod by giving him aromatherapy treatments.

GARETH JANNER (Technical Engineering)

Gareth  trained as a carpenter and worked as a Mechanical Engineer for a large corporation for many years before being tossed aside on the scrapheap of redundancy while still in his prime, I blame the government. He used his sizeable severance package to get married and buy number 8 Bluebell Hill, a nice property with a good amount of hard standing and a ruddy enormous shed. His hobbies include metalwork, web design and medieval studies.


"Love, love, love - that is the soul of genius" - Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

Hello, I'm Magda, I hope that's ok. I am a qualified music teacher (CT ABRSM and ATCL) and I enjoy teaching clarinet, oboe and cor anglais from my home at number 5 Bluebell Hill.

Beginners of all ages are welcome - own instrument preferred.

I like reading Marion Zimmer Bradley and the poems of Sappho, which had quite an impact on me.

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